Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize