Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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