my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize