she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize