His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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