Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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