I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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