I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize