I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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