and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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