Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize