So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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