proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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