So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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