Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize