Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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