I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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