I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
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This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
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I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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