True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize