I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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