Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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