Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize