His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
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Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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