i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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