i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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