everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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