I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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