I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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