can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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