btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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