Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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