I just threw up on my dentist
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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