just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize