how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize