are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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