I accidentally burped into my bong.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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