ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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