The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize