if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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