he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize