You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize