bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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