I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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