my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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