If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Its about making memories worth repressing
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
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You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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