Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize