And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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