Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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  (914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex. http://tfl.nu/kgv4
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones

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  (416): i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones http://tfl.nu/stex
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  you're like a bully in the Christmas story

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  (334): you're like a bully in the Christmas story http://tfl.nu/ntys
  Replies (3) Good night (560) Bad night (1648) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him

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  (864): sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him http://tfl.nu/vh2n
  Replies (66) Good night (2446) Bad night (4121) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?

  (815): View more from Illinois

  that's gum

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  (630): is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years? (815): that's gum http://tfl.nu/8le7
  Replies (42) Good night (2830) Bad night (2710)
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  (779): View more from Illinois

  Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.

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  (779): Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me. http://tfl.nu/6ngm
  Replies (6) Good night (2740) Bad night (613) Order T-Shirt
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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  (802): he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him http://tfl.nu/grpf
  Replies (14) Good night (639) Bad night (4989) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.

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  (250): found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life. http://tfl.nu/4h73
  Replies (22) Good night (549) Bad night (2961) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?

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  (845): would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high? http://tfl.nu/v2jv
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.

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  (251): i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening. http://tfl.nu/f2tp
  Replies (16) Good night (2676) Bad night (1548) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it

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  (985): I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it http://tfl.nu/iwz3
  Replies (10) Good night (3320) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

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  (918): There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters http://tfl.nu/8485
  Replies (83) Good night (11190) Bad night (1765) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?

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  (240): Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders? http://tfl.nu/9s8f
  Replies (15) Good night (4587) Bad night (957) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.

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  (304): My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger. http://tfl.nu/dtz4
  Replies (5) Good night (1835) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.

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  (717): I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country. http://tfl.nu/ua5o
  Replies (3) Good night (1304) Bad night (196) Order T-Shirt

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