I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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