yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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